God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
