Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
