Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
