hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
