dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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