Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I pour the whiskey from now on
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
