Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize