His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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