Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
