we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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