Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
