Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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