used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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