My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
