David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
