super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
