I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You pole danced in your parka.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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