Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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