i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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