You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
