Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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