Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
