After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize