I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize