i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
