he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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