I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
