I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
