spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
