if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
