if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My penis needs a shock collar
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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