Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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