what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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