You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
