So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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