I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize