EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
