so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
