If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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