i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
