I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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