I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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