You're my little dorito
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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