hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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