You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
