the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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