First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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