New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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