No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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