I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You ate ashes out of my bong
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
