I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think im going to throw up on grandma
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
