But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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