I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
