the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
