hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
