just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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