the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
