I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
