Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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