did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She is in my trunk
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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