so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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