all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
