Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
