i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
